update.

i haven't blogged in awhile. i guess i should update this shit.

dance stuff first. FR3SH Juniors won FLASH! yeeeey. the stuff that happened after was pretty fun too. x] hahah not gonna lie. chicken and rice + sleepover my house for joe's birthday! yeeey! that was fun. i still have the empty absolut bottles in my basement somewhere. i gotta get rid of that shit. whatelse .. jaryd and cara's was alright. nothing ultimately special. we didn't end up performing in pennsylvania. thank the freakin lord. lmao. i heard WOD was amazing. i saw everybody's sets. HOLY CRAP. i wish i went. it was so fucking SICK. <3 we learned a new piece last week and finished it today. it's to "video phone" by beyonce. pretty fierce/swaggadocious. i hope it's not an all girls piece. :[ womp. SBC is going well too. we had an audition today. haha the tinikling coulda gone better, but hey. we made progress in just two days of doing it. go us! hahah. i love SBC, no lie. gives me a chance to inspire people the way my directors/mentors inspire me. i love teaching and having power. it feels so good knowing that people respect you and your talents. lmao. i'm getting a little too ahead of myself.

yaaaay i got my permit! and i only started my six hours like .. three weeks ago. score! :] i love driving. i'm probably gonna get tired of it eventually, but i don't care. it's one step closer to reaching my independence. ;D

ANYWHOS. social life i guess. for the past two weeks, nothing really caught my eye. probably cause i had no social life due to modern/cotillion practice for the past two weeks. dag. so yeah. nina's cotillion. the party was fun. hahah i love how the cotillion mix froze in the middle of the chacha and salsa. womp! freakin fail. but whatever. it turned out nice in the end. :] the modern went pretty well too. hahaha some people messed up in both, but hell. who cares? it's a party. the point is to have fun. nahmeans? so yeah, a bit of eyecandy struck me that day. from the first time i ran into him with nina outside blue ribbon, i thought to myself "i want him." he's fuckin delicious. he's straight .. or so he says. i honestly think there's a hint of gay, without denying the straightness of him. idk. the only thing is that he hooked up with one of my best friends. i can't and wouldn't do that to her. not gonna lie, if i had the chance, i'd probably hook up with him. but i'd feel really guilty about it afterwards. idk. he keeps screwing with me and my feelings. i honestly don't know about him anymore. i'd rather just stay friends with him. no feelings whatsoever .. at least, i'll try.

you know what this whole love ordeal thing opened my eyes to though? something one of my other best friends said when i told her about the situation was "he seems like the type of guy you'd fall for." i thought to myself, what is the type of guy that i fall for? looking back, i honestly don't even know. most of the guys were asian and around my age, plus or minus two years. they all had certain qualities that made each and every one of them special. however, they all had one major factor in common: they were all assholes. why do i keep falling for them? i guess it's just human nature. we, as humans, love taking the easy way out. however, when it comes to love, we usually take the hard way. at least, i do. i love a good challenge. a guy who acts like an asshole is a real major challenge. if you can "control" that asshole, you basically won in the game of love. if you can get him to love you just as much as you love him, then you won. i'm just like every girl out there [minus the vagina and other girly parts], i'm attracted to assholes. guys who are pushovers just get too boring. asshole-ish guys bring flavor and excitement into your life. there'll never be a dull day. i want that. i want an asshole boyfriend that loves me just as much as i love him.

when it comes to love, my philosophy for now is this: i just wanna fuck around and if my asshole in shining armor happens to come, then i'll let it come. i'm not gonna force it though. it should come naturally. :]