So I found out I'm not getting the Civic anymore.

Lemme explain my family's current position.

My mom and stepdad recently got divorced. In the last stages of their marriage (November 2009), my stepdad convinced my mom to buy our leased Honda Odyssey 2007. However, my mom, really tired from work, didn't realize that the dealership guys were adding extra insurances on it and making the van's worth lesser and lesser while the cost of keeping it became more and more. Back in December 2009, my mom attempted to trade in the van for a 2010 Honda Civic LX. Unfortunately, what we owed for the van would be transferred to what we'd owe for the Civic. So in easier terms, we would be paying the same amount of money a month for the new Civic as we would for the old van. The point of the trade was to make our monthly payments lesser. We tried to get the dealership guys to take off the extra insurances so our monthly payments would be lesser as well. Yet again, the dealership guys were assholes and conned us out of it because we had only 30 days to change the insurances on the van, otherwise it would be left on forever. So now, I'm screwed for the Civic.

It's so unfortunate how things turn out sometimes. I question my mom sometimes, not to her face obviously. I just think to myself, "where was your common sense in making these decisions?" She already made so many bad ones that put us in financial debt; i.e. extending the house, going fullout on a wedding celebration that ended up failing in the long run. Don't get me wrong, I'm not blaming her. But sometimes, I just wish I knew what was going through her head at the time. Then again, I feel like if I question her motives, I question God's plan. I forgive my mom. I love her to death. I can't change her decisions. I can only learn from them, live with them, and be there for her when our family needs to stick together especially with this financial depression.

I trust God. I trust that He will take care of me and my family. This is all in His plan. Maybe I'm not meant to get a new car. Maybe everything that happened was for a reason. Think about it. If none of the past events happened, I wouldn't be the person I am or know the things I know today. It's all a part of God's grand design of things. I trust Him. I love Him. I have faith in Him. He'll take care of us. I know it.

"For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God — not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." - Ephesians 2: 8 - 10

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." - Philippians 4: 6

"If God is for us, who can be against us?" - Romans 8: 31