“Why is it that, as a culture, we are more comfortable seeing two men holding guns than holding hands?” Ernest Gaines, in the very timely, and wise, aforementioned quote, made the very astute observation that the world is more accustomed to acts of violence than it is to the love shared by two people of the same gender. Many in the world condemn homosexuality, and the multiple issues associated with it, but some of these same individuals have no problem with warfare of various natures. They portray homosexuality as a choice, but it is not. As a gay man, I know that it is part of who I am, just as my dark brown hair, my love for dance, and my brown eyes define me. I cannot change that, nor would I want to. Homosexual people do not intend to hurt anyone with their lifestyle. It is what it is, a lifestyle, and they choose to live it because that is what they are comfortable with. Who are we, as a society, to condemn someone’s contentment in their way of life? I, myself, have been subjected to the effects of homophobia. I wholeheartedly believe that enlightenment and education are the means by which my community must advocate for itself. I sincerely want to help end the pain and suffering felt by homosexuals by educating others on how homophobia affects the gay community.
As an openly gay individual, I know firsthand the challenges and consequences that are included with coming out. It was tough having to deal with being comfortable with my sexuality while dealing with the hate and negativity among my peers. I woke up every morning not understanding why the world hated me when I had done nothing to deserve it. I was constantly ridiculed, hearing nothing but derogatory names thrown at me one right after another. Not only was I misunderstood by strangers, my mother’s reaction strained our relationship and made it difficult for me to be open with her. The person I cared about the most was not talking to me and when she did, there was a tone of disappointment. It pushed me to the breaking point. I felt like I had hit rock bottom. I still continue to feel that way sometimes, but I am more confident and unafraid. Feeling comfortable and confident with one’s homosexuality is not easy, but it is definitely possible with the right support. My parents have learned to be more accepting and my friends continue to provide guidance or a shoulder to lean on when I am down. I am fortunate enough to have supportive people around me who accept me for who I am.
Not only did I have to deal with my negative, external environment, but I also had to combat an internal battle. My mother was a Catholic and raised me with values such as loving God, loving others, and forgiveness. Praying was a daily ritual for my family. Raising me in this manner taught me to stay true to my religion, trust in its values, and believe in everything the Catholic Church says. However, the Church does not approve of homosexuals and the lifestyle they live. It was extremely difficult for me to come to terms with my sexuality and be a devout Catholic simultaneously. Numerous thoughts kept rushing through my mind ranging from “I love God, so I cannot be gay” to “I am gay, so I am not a true Catholic.” It took a lot of strength and willpower to finally become comfortable with who I am. Over time, I began to drift away from the mindset of being a “true Catholic.” I do not agree with everything the Church teaches. Be that as it may, I have not completely rejected my faith. I try to be as devout as possible by continuing to participate with my Catholic youth group and attending weekly mass. I continue to uphold the values and virtues of Catholicism in high regard. It is more than likely that I am not the only gay human being that went through this dilemma. I intend to help others struggling with a similar plight against homophobia.
I believe that homophobia is misguided and, because of all the recent suicides by gay teens across the nation, the issue needs to be handled immediately. These incidents have brought homophobia and cyber-bullying into the public eye worldwide. I do not know what thoughts went through the minds of Tyler Clementi, Seth Walsh, and Zach Harrington when they decided to end their lives, but I know what led them to think about taking their own life. I was in their position at one point in my life. The constant abuse, both physical and cyber-bullying, can lower self-esteem and push a person to their breaking point. Humanity must combat this ever-growing issue. We are in a new millennium. Things are not the same as they were in the 1900’s. Society has advanced to develop new, innovative technologies, so why can we not learn to develop more open minds to ideas that have been around since the beginning of mankind? If society has come this far in terms of technological advancement, we should be able to come just as far in terms of moral standards.
Our founding fathers stated that Americans are entitled to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. It is perplexing to know that humanity cannot accept homosexuals and their lifestyle as a part of our contemporary civilization, but accepts the practice of two men using firearms against each other. This, therefore, complicates their right to liberty and their pursuit of happiness. Homosexuals do not intend to harm anyone by living their lives with a person of the same sex. On the other hand, the use of weapons does harm others. Instead of protesting against gay marriage and homosexuality, people should be promoting the idea of world peace and ending the prejudices against homosexuals. I realize that I can achieve my goal of being a role model for my community and the world by obtaining the best education possible, and then, utilizing it to make the world a more tolerant and accepting place for gay people. Bigotry is nothing more than ignorance and hatred. One of the biggest plagues in our society can be ended, not through the brandishing of a firearm, but through the enlightenment and tolerance that comes from the power of education. The world deserves nothing less.
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